Embraced
by OryssaV
Summary: Draco muses about how life has been and how good it feels to have a real family for once. It is his happiness, the only thing Draco is living for. HP & DM pairing Warning: containes MPREG...


**title**: Embraced  
**author**: OryssaV  
**rating**: R  
**pairings**: HP/DM  
**summary**: about draco  
**warning(s): **male pregnancy, future fic.  
**disclaimer**: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.  
**author's notes**: beta-read by jocie. thanks girl, i know how much the idea of pregnant draco disgusts you.

-:-

_"... A free soul or spirit is trapped within a body at birth. But when the form receives its soul or spirit exactly, no one knows; neither muggles nor do wizards. The soul may be compared to a bird. It floats around, free of all the laws, pulls and rules. And this idyll is broken when it gets trapped in a body with an unknown future. The soul loses all of its beloved independence, the freedom it cherishes. It becomes a caged bird. Some prisons are ideal, clean and nourishing giving safety __and the sense of belonging; some are a living hell and these are just are painful for the spirit who struggles to break out, but its efforts are feeble. That is the way the existence of "evil" has been justified. Wizards have emotional problems..."  
_

Draco Malfoy was reading the paper assignment of Harry Potter's son. Surprisingly the boy got into Slytherin, shocking not only Draco but most of the Wizarding world. Draco's face fell at the sorting ceremony because everyone expected Potter's child to go to Gryffindor… especially since the child exhibited a very Gryffindorish traits… recklessness, irrationality, dumb loyalty and _courage_. That child had made headlines of a lot of newspapers… but it was most obvious when the kid was interacting with others. That was why Draco sat there at the head table staring open mouthed and speechless. And he couldn't figure out why Potter senior was so happy with that fact, his face was lit up through out the day, much to Draco's dismay. Harry was relieved about the news obviously. Potter was teaching the Defense Against the Dark Arts in Hogwarts.

Draco himself was teaching Potions after professor Snape was sadly lost in the war with Lord Voldemort. If Severus had lived, he would have never accepted this teaching position unless Severus really had insisted. Draco missed the old greasy git very much; Snape was the one that kept him living when he was wobbling on the very thin line between death and life. No one but Snape was there for him, everyone else was so busy with war and school… that the two last years Draco spent in Hogwarts, he had spent in misery and loneliness. It was Snape that had pulled him back by his robes when he got dangerously close to the other side, when he wanted to jump and end his life. When Snape died in his arms, it was as if a piece of Draco himself died with that man covered in blood and dirt.

Draco mused a little more about the grade he was supposed to give the boy, his pen hovering above the paper in thought. He really liked him, for who could not; James Jr. was cunning and intelligent and very very secretive. But most of all, he was calm and serious, a perfect Slytherin despite the fact that there was a lot of Gryffindor in him. Draco never knew what was going on in his head. And he was very likeable, with quick wit and easy going humor that lighted up in his face whenever he smiled.

"A caged bird…" Draco pondered. Sometimes he was that caged bird. Despite the fact that he was in charge of his actions, and by God, as a Slytherin that was a necessity, he felt incomplete. He trusted himself completely. And the world he lived in was not necessarily the world everybody else lived. The world he lived in was full of his dreams, those realized and those pending. Only his family had access to it after few months of negotiations. And only when he was with them, he felt that missing part click and fall in place.

Sometimes he felt awkward though, just as he did when he was younger. Thoughts of dying and ending everything were so tempting… He wondered how it would have feel to lose all the responsibility, worries, and problems everyday life brought. He remembered the pain all too well; it woke him up during the nights.

But he would never commit suicide, especially not now... He had not enough courage to do so and too much love to spare. At times when he couldn't stand the face he saw in the mirror, when he felt that life was such bullshit and he was allergic to it, it was a comfort to have a warm body in bed with him hugging him and whispering sweet promises into his hair. To be entangled in a pair of strong and loving arms, in the arms of someone who is caring, and understands was Draco's only glimpse of a paradise.

Draco knew he was imperfect... not at all near perfect like he used to think when he was a child. He used to have so many dreams of what to become, of what he would do in his life. He had so many beautiful and aspiring dreams.

Dreams of someone he was not, of someone he could not become. And the truth usually hit him hard in the face, punched him until he bled. But he didn't cry. He didn't spit in anger and frustration. He just floated with disappointment and resignation asking constantly 'what if?' Sometimes he wished he could scream and cry and laugh at himself, but he was not a Gryffindor.

It was good that he had married a Gryffindor though; it brought hope and a change to his life. The chilly feeling usually went away with the hug of the loved one, with a kiss. And he would become soothed and content. Draco was afraid of what it took to live. He was so fucking scared never opened himself to anybody, except his husband and their son. Not even Snape knew near enough, though he suspected trouble in the soul of his godson.

He used to close himself to the world outside, anything, just to feel none of the pain. He would do any fucking desperate thing to keep himself in control; in what he thought was a control. He was so desperate he panicked most of the time. And the walls he built were high and thick. No one got through them until his boyfriend-and later husband- came into his life. And Draco couldn't imagine through how much shit they went, while in school and then afterwards. He didn't know why his lover came to him, why did he insist so strongly… but it saved him.

That was how people saw him; aloof, cold and very calm. Nobody knew about the demons that lurked in his soul. Those demons were so hard to tame. And they were still there, but dozing, sleeping in eternal sleep. And Draco could sleep for once, without the usual nightmares.

When he was younger, he asked himself how long can a person wait for one to save him? How much patience, how much time did it require? What would he do when the time runs thin, because it seemed to be going bloody thin with every second?" And many more questions that no one could answer. But then he was granted the possibility to hope, he got a glimpse of happiness. And he adhered to it so tightly that it never even thought of leaving him. And he stayed there, though the world thought it was a lie, that it was a mistake. It wasn't.

"What are you doing Draco?" A quiet voice protruded his thoughts. Draco stirred on his seat and then lifted his head up. He stared at the green eyes of his lover and smiled that gently smiled he reserved only for his husband.

"Grading James' essay. I told you he got the intelligence from me!" Draco teased. He knew how sensitive Harry was about his intellect since he had his lapses. Draco lifted his hand to caress Harry's face gently. Harry responded by closing his eyes, sighing warmly, hands reaching out for Draco sitting there on the chair.

"Are you sure he got it from you? I don't like the idea of me being stupid… and you, little mister, know it!" Harry said laughing. "I hope our little Lily will get courage from me. There's far too many Slytherins in our family so far... We need someone brave, like me!" Harry's hand fell to Draco's abdomen where the little unborn girl was resting.

Draco's breath caught as he saw adoration in Harry's eyes. It was the moments like these he lived for.

"How do you know it's a girl?" He whispered huskily, accusingly. Harry was so annoying with the way he talked about their child being a girl.

Harry smiled knowingly, something flashing in his eyes. "I'm her father, remember? It's going to be a girl. Come..." Harry said pulling on Draco's robes. "James is sleeping and you're tired. I warmed our bed for us." A warm bed was an appealing thought to Draco's aching muscles. Pregnancy was so tiring, but he would never regret it, no matter how much he whined and ached and craved.

"You'll have to give me a hand..." And Harry helped a very pregnant Draco off of the chair. "This is entirely your fault..." Draco hissed at Harry, though not fully with the intended venom.

"I'll massage your feet if you wish..." Harry suggested with a knowing smile in the corner of his lips. He knew how Draco loved for his feet to be massaged.

And Draco sighed happily, "Oh, please do..." as he stretched on the covers of their king size bed.

Yes... whatever his life has been, he was glad he was alive. He wouldn't want to die and miss this part of it. And as he felt the baby kicking he felt he could declare himself happy. He truly was... and he would hold on tightly for all it took.

Koniec

By: oV


End file.
